I cant believe I'm doing this. But I need feedback.

[TheMaximumHornetSting]

One of my dreams has always been to create my own superhero. Growing up stuff like  Batman,Spider-Man,Superman,Dragon Ball Z and video games played a major role in my life. Aside from sports that is... 

I realized when I got in HS sports wasnt going to be a safe fall back for me. But one thing I was good at was storytelling and acting.  I actually won 3 writing festival awards back in Middle School and some drama and music awards in HS(I play Alto Sax and a little Bass guitar).   

But back to the main point.

At the age of 10 I decided to start working on my dream. In my free time I would draw and write. Needless to say my drawing skills... where not were I thought they should've been. I have improved since then however... 

I still to this day write and draw in my free time(When I have it...).   

But I need feedback from you all. 

Believe it or not the only reason I'm doing this is because me and my peers have vastly different schedules so its hard to get together with them and ask for input. 

Honestly I know alot of you could care less but considering a good 60% of you all watch Game of thrones I can safely assume some of you all have a nerdy side. 

One of my biggest issues has been trying to develop characters and avoid cliches at the same time.  

My first  Created Character was:

Ace- He is still my main character I have changed him as time went on. 

Ace posses Super strength and the ability to fly(Yea I tried to avoid the cliche but I couldn't. At this point every hero can fly by some form of technology or inherited ability). He also has the ability to generate and absorb lightning and electricity. Practically a living generator.

Ace however wasn't always like that. Ace gained the ability to generate Lightning after being experimented on. 

Ace hails from the planet Starcadia. Ace comes from a long line of warriors. Ace's father Axl was a highly respected war  veteran. And his grandfather Axe had single handidly defeated some of the greatest threats to universe. When Ace was born his father left on an important mission (in which he would never return from). This left Stella  to raise Ace by herself. (Pause). I'll explain the background shortly Ace's is the longest. 

I need opinions on other Characters. 

Heroes: 

Celeste Artois- Calling Celeste a hero is actually wrong and right at the same time. She does whatever she wants and for the most part is not a threat to anyone she actually helps Ace out alot. But don't sleep on Celeste. She has the power to Warp reality. However it is limited in range. She can't warp reality on a global scale. She is also immune to all known forms of Radiation poisoning. She can touch uranium without having to worry about radiation poisoning. She comes from Paris,France. 

 

Jordan- Jordan hails from Atlanta,GA his father is a Starcadian who fled to earth during the 30 year war and his mother is a human teacher. Jordan travels with Ace and fights along side Ace he posses all the same abilities as Ace except for the ability to generate Lightning and electricity. 

Rockwood- Rockwood is a skinwalker from Arizona. No one has ever seen his true form. Most of the time he takes on the form of a tall native american man.  He often helps Ace on espionage missions. Little is known about his past. 

 

 Sugar- Sugar is another humanoid alien much like Ace she resembles a human. She hails from Ireland. She was born and abandoned on earth. She was raised by a lonely old Irish woman. She has magnetism powers and is extremely durable she can survive a point blank nuclear bomb blast With no damage. She has romantic feelings for Ace but he is completely oblivious to them. 

 

Null Mask- Null Mask  is a hero from Dallas,TX. He is an extremely smart hacker that posses a mask that allows him to take on the form of anyone or anything. On top of that it allows him to breath in space and underwater. 

 

 

 

[TheMaximumHornetSting]

Villiains: 

Madam Lynch- Madam Lynch is the main enemy of Ace and is partially responsible for the 30 year war. Madam lynch is an absolute psycho she is a genocidal intergalactic witch.  Though she wasn't always that way.  Madam Lynch started off as a peasent back alley doctor. She barely made ends meat and struggled from day to day to survive. She wanted children but she knew that she wouldn't be able to take care of them. As time went on  she became more and more depressed to the point where she considered suicide.  But one day a blessing fell in her lap. A man by the name of Leon  found her back alley doctors office. He had been searching far and wide for a doctor to help his sick brother Klein. He approached Mrs.Lynch and asked for help. She agreed to help him. After 6 months she developed a cure for Klein's sickness. (Fastforward>>>) 2 years later Klein married Lynch. He showed her a side of life she had never seen before. He spoiled her. At the same time Lynch had a side of her that she was hiding from him. She had been dabbling in Dark magic. One day Klein got sick again and instead of curing Klein, Lynch gave gave him some poison that only added on to his sickness.  Klein passed away after 2 weeks. All his money was left to Lynch. She used to fund her Research in Dark Magic and her medical studies. 

Leon found his brothers death suspicious. A month after his brothers death he launched an investigation into his death. And he found out that his brother had been poisoned. Lynch didnt do a good job at hiding the evidence.  

Leon became enraged at the fact that his brother was taken from him prematurely.  He also found out about Lynch's dark magic studies. Unbeknownst to Lynch,Leon was also a fan of the dark arts himself. But he used his magic for the betterment of others not for selfish purposes. But this one time 

He cursed Lynch for killing  his brother. The curse  he put on Lynch kept her from dying but at the same time she felt an endless burning pain comparable to that of being burned alive.   

No matter what she did the pain wouldnt stop. So long as she lived she would feel nothing but pain at all times.  (Fastforaward again>>>)  5 years afterwards Lynch had lost most of her sanity.  She tried numerous times to kill herself but each time failed as she was now immune to death.  Lynch however was still sane enough to understand the words written in her books. She eventually found a way to seperate the effects of the curse. She managed to nullify the burning and keep the immortality. Shortly after doing so she sought out Leon and killed him by devouring his soul.  Her powers increased tenfold after killing Leon. The news of Leons death reached the Dark Magic High Council. 

They decided to hire outside assistance to kill Madam Lynch. Axl, the father of Ace was hired to kill Madam Lynch. His battle against her lasted for 2 days. He beheaded her. Dismembered her. Did everything possible to kill her. But he failed. Eventually he tired out and had his soul eaten just like Leon. This increased her powers further.  

Madam Lynch is the epitome of having a thorn in your side. Ace has fought her numerous times and has yet to find a permenant way to put her down. 

Madam Lynch has also amassed over 3,000 followers who worship her as a goddess. 

 

 

 

 

[TheMaximumHornetSting]

DeadStar- DeadStar is a relatively simple villain in terms of background.  DeadStar  is a mysterious being over 300,000 years old.   His body is 80%Anti-Matter. Physical contact with Dead Star would result in instant physical destruction of Your body.  

DeadStar is The size of Earths sun.  He doesn't eat,sleep or breathe. 

He doesnt talk either. He only lets out a Soul Chilling echoish howl. Those who have heard it often go into a state of shock or into a coma.  Ace's grandfather is the only one who has ever had to go into combat with DeadStar. And it nearly killed him.  

[TheMaximumHornetSting]

Spartan King Beowulf-  Beowulf  is the only villain to have ever overpowered Ace in hand to hand combat. He beat Ace into a coma he was ultimately defeated by Celeste.   He was a one shot villain I created while in class... 

GenocideMaster- He hates everything including his own existence. He hates his purpose but its all he knows. GenocideMaster is the son(Test tube baby) of Madam Lynch. He was brainwashed into becoming a killing machine.  He is currently deceased he was killed by Ace during the battle of Titania. 

[Cossacks]

Celeste Artois- 

She has the power to Warp reality. 

You must have based Celeste on my wife. Although I refer to it more as a pain in my ass rather than a power.

 

[TheMaximumHornetSting]

6 hours ago, Cossacks said:

Celeste Artois- 

She has the power to Warp reality. 

You must have based Celeste on my wife. Although I refer to it more as a pain in my ass rather than a power.

 

Not intentionally. But you're close. I actually came up with the concept of  Celeste while Drunk... 

[TheMaximumHornetSting]

6 hours ago, Cossacks said:

Celeste Artois- 

She has the power to Warp reality. 

You must have based Celeste on my wife. Although I refer to it more as a pain in my ass rather than a power.

 

Shes actually one of my most recent creations. She has actually been one of my favorite characters to develop and I dont see myself ever killing her off either... 

Shes smart,witty,sarcastic and sly. She keeps Ace on his toes. Shes impossible to predict. And no matter what anyone does you'll never really outsmart her.  

Aside from Beowulf shes the only other person to have beaten Ace. Though she didnt beat him into a coma. She also didnt beat him through brute force either. 

Warping reality is an Overpowered ability within itself.   But paired with Celeste's boundless mind  It becomes deadly. She has killed before but it was for the cause of a greater good. Most of the time she toys with people Ace,Jordan and at one point she almost broke Madam Lynch. 

[TheMaximumHornetSting]

Villains:  

The Diablo Mafia-Stationed out of Devils Doughnut,Utah. They operate under the command of their leader Beelzebub. Beelzebub is currently incarcerated. He was defeated by the combined efforts of Rockwood and Nullmask. 

Since his incarceration the Diablo Mafia has fallen into hands of madam lynch. They act as her eyes and ears on earth. The Diablo mafia often stays at odds with Null Mask and Rockwood. 

They always get their asses handed to them by both. 

[ORabidOne]

On 9/15/2017 at 11:46 AM, TheMaximumHornetSting said:

One of my dreams has always been to create my own superhero. Growing up stuff like  Batman,Spider-Man,Superman,Dragon Ball Z and video games played a major role in my life. Aside from sports that is... 

I realized when I got in HS sports wasnt going to be a safe fall back for me. But one thing I was good at was storytelling and acting.  I actually won 3 writing festival awards back in Middle School and some drama and music awards in HS(I play Alto Sax and a little Bass guitar).   

But back to the main point.

At the age of 10 I decided to start working on my dream. In my free time I would draw and write. Needless to say my drawing skills... where not were I thought they should've been. I have improved since then however... 

I still to this day write and draw in my free time(When I have it...).   

But I need feedback from you all. 

Believe it or not the only reason I'm doing this is because me and my peers have vastly different schedules so its hard to get together with them and ask for input. 

Honestly I know alot of you could care less but considering a good 60% of you all watch Game of thrones I can safely assume some of you all have a nerdy side. 

One of my biggest issues has been trying to develop characters and avoid cliches at the same time.  

My first  Created Character was:

Ace- He is still my main character I have changed him as time went on. 

Ace posses Super strength and the ability to fly(Yea I tried to avoid the cliche but I couldn't. At this point every hero can fly by some form of technology or inherited ability). He also has the ability to generate and absorb lightning and electricity. Practically a living generator.

Ace however wasn't always like that. Ace gained the ability to generate Lightning after being experimented on. 

Ace hails from the planet Starcadia. Ace comes from a long line of warriors. Ace's father Axl was a highly respected war  veteran. And his grandfather Axe had single handidly defeated some of the greatest threats to universe. When Ace was born his father left on an important mission (in which he would never return from). This left Stella  to raise Ace by herself. (Pause). I'll explain the background shortly Ace's is the longest. 

I need opinions on other Characters. 

Heroes: 

Celeste Artois- Calling Celeste a hero is actually wrong and right at the same time. She does whatever she wants and for the most part is not a threat to anyone she actually helps Ace out alot. But don't sleep on Celeste. She has the power to Warp reality. However it is limited in range. She can't warp reality on a global scale. She is also immune to all known forms of Radiation poisoning. She can touch uranium without having to worry about radiation poisoning. She comes from Paris,France. 

 

Jordan- Jordan hails from Atlanta,GA his father is a Starcadian who fled to earth during the 30 year war and his mother is a human teacher. Jordan travels with Ace and fights along side Ace he posses all the same abilities as Ace except for the ability to generate Lightning and electricity. 

Rockwood- Rockwood is a skinwalker from Arizona. No one has ever seen his true form. Most of the time he takes on the form of a tall native american man.  He often helps Ace on espionage missions. Little is known about his past. 

 

 Sugar- Sugar is another humanoid alien much like Ace she resembles a human. She hails from Ireland. She was born and abandoned on earth. She was raised by a lonely old Irish woman. She has magnetism powers and is extremely durable she can survive a point blank nuclear bomb blast With no damage. She has romantic feelings for Ace but he is completely oblivious to them. 

 

Null Mask- Null Mask  is a hero from Dallas,TX. He is an extremely smart hacker that posses a mask that allows him to take on the form of anyone or anything. On top of that it allows him to breath in space and underwater. 

 

 

 

WELL Stinger! I just wanted to let you know, that you are MY SUPER HERO! DANG SONNY, playing the Bass GEEEEEtar is why you ain't got a GURL FRAN! Ya need to get the Paul McCartney style! 

And playing video games and not breathing good ole fresh air! Is why you 21st century, metro sexuals are ALL FUCKED UP!

[ORabidOne]

On 9/15/2017 at 7:18 PM, Cossacks said:

Celeste Artois- 

She has the power to Warp reality. 

You must have based Celeste on my wife. Although I refer to it more as a pain in my ass rather than a power.

 

Is your avatar a pic of your wife? WHO needs a PILLOW WHEN YOU HAVE TWO OF THOSE?

[TheMaximumHornetSting]

1 hour ago, ORabidOne said:

WELL Stinger! I just wanted to let you know, that you are MY SUPER HERO! DANG SONNY, playing the Bass GEEEEEtar is why you ain't got a GURL FRAN! Ya need to get the Paul McCartney style! 

And playing video games and not breathing good ole fresh air! Is why you 21st century, metro sexuals are ALL FUCKED UP!

Im not a Metrosexual... I'm a normal Heterosexual. 

Also I dont play Video Games that often anymore... 

Im focused on my college studies and making my dream come true. 

  

[Cossacks]

12 hours ago, ORabidOne said:

Is your avatar a pic of your wife? WHO needs a PILLOW WHEN YOU HAVE TWO OF THOSE?

Hell I wish!