The difference in football between the sourh and the rest of the country

[Fred]

THIS IS AWESOME:

College football starts tonight! Thought you Southern folks would enjoy this, it's the differences in football in the South and in the rest of the country...

Women's Accessories:
NORTH: Chap Stick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.
SOUTH: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, and waterproof mascara. Money not necessary - that's what dates are for.

Stadium Size:
NORTH: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.
SOUTH: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

Fathers:
NORTH: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.
SOUTH: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.

Campus Decor:
NORTH: Statues of founding fathers.
SOUTH: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.

Homecoming Queen:
NORTH: Also a physics major.
SOUTH: Also Miss America.

Heroes:
NORTH: Rudy Giuliani
SOUTH: Bear Bryant, Archie &Peyton Manning

Getting Tickets:
NORTH: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus.
SOUTH: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on
campus, make a large financial contribution and put name on a waiting list
for tickets.

Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:
NORTH: Students and teachers not sure they're going to the game, because
they have classes on Friday.
SOUTH: Teachers cancel Friday classes.

Parking:
NORTH: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.
SOUTH: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for
the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.

Game Day:
NORTH: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.
SOUTH: Every student wakes up and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting 'Game Day Live' to get on camera and wave to the students up north who wonder why 'Game Day Live' is never Broadcast from their campus.

Tailgating:
NORTH: Raw meat on a grill, drinks with lime in it, listening to local
radio station with truck tailgate down.
SOUTH: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking
accompanied by live performance from the Dave Matthews Band,... who come over during breaks and hangout.

Getting to the Stadium:
NORTH: You ask 'Where's the stadium?' When you find it, you walk right
in.
SOUTH: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it is the state's
third largest city.

Concessions:
NORTH: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.
SOUTH: Drinks served in a large plastic cup, with the home team's mascot on it.

When National Anthem is Played:
NORTH : Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand
up.
SOUTH: 100,000 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part
harmony. If you are really lucky, you might get a fly-over too.

The Smell in the Air After the First Score:
NORTH: Nothing changes.
SOUTH: Gunpowder (from the cannon in the end zone).

Commentary (Male):
NORTH: 'Nice play.'
SOUTH: 'Tackle him and break his legs.'

Commentary (Female):
NORTH: 'My, this certainly is a violent sport.'
SOUTH: 'Tackle him and break his legs.'

Announcers:
NORTH: Neutral and paid.
SOUTH: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.

After the Game:
NORTH: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.
SOUTH: Another rack of ribs goes on the smoker, Dave Matthews plays on, and planning begins for next week.

[BUFORDGAWOLVES]

"Tackle him and break his legs"!!! Heard that at basketball games!!!

Funny stuff. But they play the Polka after games in Madison Wisconsin... win or lose, I went to some games before Barry Alvarez when Crazy Legs Hirsch was AD.. Party times, good times.

Pretty sure the Polka still goes on, the drinking? Well, they start them young....

BGW

[noonereal]

7 hours ago, Fred said:

Heroes:
NORTH: Rudy Giuliani

are you fuckin' insane? 

 

The guy is the poster boy for hypocrisy and claiming credit for the work of others.

[noonereal]

4 minutes ago, GardenStateBaller said:

Bro, he singlehandedly rebuilt lower Manhattan after 9/11. Plus, his son is a SJR alum. Stop hating. 

I'll leave it alone...

[WCACguy]

4 hours ago, noonereal said:

are you fuckin' insane? 

 

The guy is the poster boy for hypocrisy and claiming credit for the work of others.

A O-C was the second choice...lol.

[imaGoodBoyNow]

4 hours ago, GardenStateBaller said:

Bro, he singlehandedly rebuilt lower Manhattan after 9/11. Plus, his son is a SJR alum. Stop hating. 

 

[Wosinc]

Where is “the sourh?”

[Fred]

14 hours ago, noonereal said:

are you fuckin' insane? 

 

The guy is the poster boy for hypocrisy and claiming credit for the work of others.

You can't recognize satire when you see it?  Coming from you this comment is hilarious.